Nokia Muvee – perfect for the John
Another Testies
July 18, 2007
Just trying out some cool, new stuff, and seeing if the cool old stuff isn’t still better. We shall see.
Jerk
I’ve Been Gone
June 4, 2007
But Not Forgotten!
I hope.
Yes, it has been a while, dear reader (if you are still out there), since I have put my fingers to the ol’ bluetooth keypad and plunked out some letters to leave here for you to ponder. I do apologise, but I have an excuse! You see, I have been working again. the first couple weeks of my abscence are due to my working on film. It was a very interesting experience. We got to blow up cars, crash hummers, stage shootouts…you know, the usual 2nd unit stuff. We, the fine folks working on the production, have been calling it “BAD.” This is indicitive of the production in many ways, not the least of which is because its initials spell out ‘BAD.’ “BAD’ was a very tough project for the warriors on the Main Unit. For those of us on the Glorious Brothehood of the Heroic Second Unit, it wasn’t so bad (No pun intended), at least once the main unit left us alone and let us get to work.
Since then, and more in tune with the photo that, hopefully, made its way through the mobile phone airwaves and onto this page, I have been working in a glass studio. Before I came to the Czech republic to work on films, I had been living in Bellingham, Washington, and working in a glass studio. Glass work is still in my blood, and when I get the chance, I still like to head out to my friend’s studio in the countryside and see what the ol’ fingers are still capable of.
Well, not much this time around (probably why there are no photos of me at work, or any of the things I made).
I still had a wonderful few days, made even more peaceful by the fact that there is no phone network coverage there in the valley.
Hope nobody needed me while I was gone
Jerk
As dark as the night…
May 5, 2007
Coca Cola picks up where Jerk left off
Yes, the hype is all true: Coffee Flavored Cola.
Many many years ago, in a land far, far away, I spent quite a bit of time experimenting with Coffee Flavored Soda. Unfortunately for me, and future generations of Jerks, I failed. But my idea lingered on, and now there is Coca Cola Blak.
First impressions are good, dark, rich color, as one would expect from the name. A nice amount of fizz, without being over fizzy like some sodas straight out of the bottle, tickled my nose as I too a sip. Hmmm….not bad. It actually tastes like those coffee flavored candies you get at the dentist. Personally, I have always loved those candies, so liking this soda was not a problem. As I sipped, however, I noticed that the flavor tended to sort of drop off, it has a weak follow, leaving the mouth wanting at the end. This, or course, could just be their trick to get you to drink more. some Pirate Juice might help with this problem as well.
Weak follow aside, it was a very enjoyable drink. It is a bit on the expensive side, so won’t be a daily treat. I can see it becoming something of an evening drink for those long nights of hob-nobbing with the social elete. Of course with a spalsh (or two) of Habana Club….
Jerk
Wanted: New Advertising Director
May 3, 2007
Wanted: New Advertising Director
Originally uploaded by McJerk.
Hard Times at the NRA
Poor bastards must have it rough if this is what it has come to, graffiti on the streets of Prague.
In reality, it’s a misguided campaign since most Czechs already own guns anyway. The big difference is they don’t seem to need to use them all the time. Very few road signs have holes in them, squirrels run fearless through the woods, and very few children accidentally shoot themselves with a gun they found in dad’s sock drawer.
Perhaps the NRA should learn from the Czechs. It could be closer to what the forefathers had in mind when they penned that now infamous ‘Right to Bear Arms’. You see, guns come in handy when things go bad, when oppressive forces deny you your right to freedom, like the oppressive British forces in the 1700′s. When that happens, as it certaily will, you’ll be ready to fight for your freedom. I don’t think they meant us to grab our four-wheelers, a couple of cases of beer, and shoot whatever moves (of course the actions of good ol’ Dick Cheny shows the current administration believes maybe they did). If that were the case, it would be the ‘Right to Beer Arms.’
Here again, the folks in the US have a lot to learn from the Czechs.
Jerk
And the Czechs Strike Back
April 2, 2007
Could World War III begin with a Bottle of Bud?
It’s not likely, but it is conceivable.
It seems the Czechs have stepped up the pressure on the Ameikans by intoducing their own version of “Bud.” I have yet to try it (I already had had like five regular Budvars, and a few shots of things like Fernet and Becherovka, didn’t need a “Bud” at that point – what I did need was a Bud to tell me that I really didn’t need the shots of Becherovka).
I dyegrass – the long and the short of it are that this Bud, and the Amerikan version are pretty much complete opposites. Aside from being shipped in the little bottles, and having a similar color scheem, they are like, well, for lack of a better similie, piss and beer.
The Czech version is a 16 on the degree scale. I don’t know precisly what this means, but I’m betting when you put the thermomoter like thingy in and spin it around, the Czech version comes up at 1.016 on the gravity scale (our homebrew, “Bitter Hopes” measured at 1.011). Roughly speaking, that makes it pretty strong, around 7% in the Alcohol Scale.
It is made by brew maestros who brew beer using recipies older than the USA.
I do not personally know the degree of Amerikan Bud, but I would guess somewhere in the 9 to 10 degree range.
Amerikan Bud is made with rice.
Just where the european union will settle into this affair remains to be seen. Even more so than the contreversial radar system the US wants to build here in the Czech Republic, this is a matter the will effect the developement of relations between the Crumbling Neo-Roman Empire, and the beer drinkers of this modern day Sparticus.
The US would do best by not fucking around with Bud.
Jerk
And I thought it was just the Sweedes!
March 27, 2007
But the French are Jerks too.
Well, not really. It’s mostly the fault of the Czechs. the Czechs are the main reason that the French get “Ami,” or “Bud” as you might know it, instead of the huegly popular “Budweiseer.” You see, they have this brewery there called “Budvar,”or in some toungs “Budweiser.” And they have the right to use that name in Europe, something about how the brewery was founded in the 1500′s. An attempt by Anschweiser Bush to buy out the famous Czech “pivovar” (they don’t even call it “beer”there!) in Ceske Budejovice was shut down by the Czech Government, Bush was barred, and Budweiser, at least in Europe, had to be called “Bud.”
Of course, there were consequences to the deal for the Czchs as well. In order to export thier product, which is actually beer, to the USA they had to change their name. In order to overcome this drawback, the management in Ceske Budejovice opted to buy “Bud” from the Amerikans. This plan was quickly retracted when they actually tasted the product. The name for their exported beer, at least to the US, became “Czechvar.” “Czechver”as a name has yet to be contested by anyone.
So, just who are the real Jerks here? Well, I’d have to say the Amerikans for making thier aweful version of Budweiser in the first place
jerks
Jerk
you wish you were here!
March 13, 2007
It is one hell of a day here in the Czech Republic!
This would be an amazing summer day, let alone a day in early spring. In some places this time of the year is still considered winter, and there have been many years where it was still winter. Not today. Not at all.
I ended up walking a lot further than I intended, it was just too nice to stop. Now my feet are in bad shape. Reason: bad choice of socks. I didn’t have any of my normal socks clean, so I took some thicker socks. It hadn’t been a problem up until today. Now I have sweaty, raw feet, and possibly a blister. I know what you are thining, that Snowboard trip to the French Alps is going to suck with that blister. Yes, true, but the main rason the trip to the French Alps is going to suck is because there is no snow! The trip itself is a long story. Didn’t really want to go, but ended up “paying”. Now we are going. Better to go if we are stuck paying than hand over the money and stay home, non? Lesson of the Day; Don’t trust a drunk asshole to take care of your business for you, even if you didn’t ask them to.
Even with the lack of snow, I still figure it will be another place where I am, and you poor jerks are only going to wish you were.
Jerk
Jesus Died for You.
March 1, 2007
Originally uploaded by McJerk.
But not until 1982!
I ran across this tomb while strolling through the cemetery today. Yes, startling proof that much of the Christian Doctrine is based on deceit. Imagine if the average person knew that Jesus lived for nearly 2000 years after his Resurrection! And if they found out what he was doing that whole time, well, the word ‘havoc’ doesn’t begin to describe what would happen next. I mean, if the world knew the Savior had spent the last thousand years organizing activist groups like Greenpeace, the Pirate Sea Sheppards, and the Toronto Maple Leaves, there would be no end to the ensuing peace and prosperity. That, my friends, is bad for business, and will not do.
I for one, and one for I! Show me the money, and I won’t tell a sole, cause God knows no one will read it here first!
Jerk
Just Like Heaven
February 23, 2007
Must be Nicer on the Inside
Can you believe that this place is in Prague? I have yet to actually go inside, something about the heavy stainless steel door with the sliding security peep-hole that just didn’t seem very inviting. I suppose when you have that much utopia on the other side of the door, you can be pretty choosy about whom you let through that door. Plus the people on the inside have to keep in mind that someone has to let them out as well.
Might keep folks from trying to swipe the beach chairs!
Jerk
